the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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