So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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