I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
