He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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