it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
