And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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