There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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