So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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