But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
