ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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