After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We don't watch enough power rangers
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
