I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
