Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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