shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
