I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
