i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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