Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
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