They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
