She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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