I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
