I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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