they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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