dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
