so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
