dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
