But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
