check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She's the barista slut.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
