So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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