Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
