I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
