i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
