I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
