my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
