I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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