I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
