my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
