Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
