I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
