i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
