We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you would pick up someone in the library
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
How external is "for external use only"?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
