Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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