cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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