make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
