Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
