i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
