He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My ATM looks so different sober.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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