Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
