Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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