He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
