We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
