Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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