im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
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