Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Randomize
