i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize