You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
